Losses

My favorite aunt passed away this morning at 7:20. Ola Olivia Alexander Gara has joined the Lord and is no longering suffering from cancer. She battled bravely to the end, God was merciful and she is no longer in pain. She leaves behind two daughters, Jennifer Gail Gara Gietzen (Jeff) and Katheryn Alexis Gara Morton (Jeff) and three grandchildren, Alex and Kyle Bayley and Claudia Gietzen. She is also survived by her sister, Bettie Joy Alexander Bethke, my mom. Nieces and nephews include: Rebecca Smith (Richard), Marsha Bain (David), Marvin Mikeska, Judy Higdon, Bettie Hairston,and Dale Alexander. She leaves behind great nephews and nieces: Jason Mikeska, David Keefer, Justin Smith, Bryan Jones, Ashley Higdon, Mathew Bain, Britney Bain, and Christine Mikeska. Great-grand nieces and nephews include: Kaleb Mikeska, Kamryn Keefer, Jonathan Stafford(by marriage)and Reagan Smith, Emily Bain, Christopher and Jonathan Brockwell, David, Nicole and Dryden Jones. I mention the extended family because my Aunt Ola took great care to make sure we knew she was always thinking of us. Christmas always included boxes of cute gifts from the oldest niece to the youngest great-grand nephew. I was always surprised at her ability to remember everyone as most of the previously mentioned relatives are my mom's side of the family. I gave up long ago trying to get individual gifts just to say I love you, but I admire people who do this. We are enjoying the company of my aunt's sweetheart for about 15 years. I remember the evolution of this relationship well. My aunt loved to square dance, and met Francis through this hobby. They danced together for years, and Ola's wish was to die on the dance floor. That's an interesting way to end one's life. Die while engaged in something you love doing. I want to go that way.....maybe while painting a sunset over the ocean. My aunt has once again inspired me. She always did.

Legally Stoned......

My favorite aunt is in the latter stages of cancer and this became my catch phrase as she medicated with the sixty's favorite herb. As she cut the cookie or fudge treat, she would tell me that she would share, but it would be illegal to do so. We would both get a good and much needed laugh. Her cancer in its last stages is quite painful and her nausea really unpleasant. Her doctor prescribed the marijuana for her stomach, and it does help. My younger son has been sending all he knows about the treatment with instructions to not tell mom. I sometimes wish my children would give me credit for at least having knowledge about issues in this decade. The medicinal use of marijuana is a non issue to me. If I research the medications I take every day, I am sure that most of them get their power from various plant bases. In fact unless synthetically produced, most medicines do begin as some sort of foliage. Such is science and such is the science of medicine. It's been a rough 2 months for me. My mother had a stroke, was in rehabilitation for a really quick six weeks, then home with 24/7 care. I was her caregiver for the first two weeks home and my brother and sister covered this last two weeks. We were all in the process of getting a family gathering organized for my mom and aunt. My mother was instructed to stay close to her physicians for at least six months, and then my aunt received news that her condition is terminal. My husband was on board with getting me to Seattle to visit with my aunt. He handled the reservations for me, and that gave me a few moments to just breathe. The visit was bittersweet as we talked, played a few games, and enjoyed a meal together. It is hard to see someone you love in pain. Pain is such paralyzer. Normal activities become difficult and it is, quite frankly, easier to stay in bed and have one's pillow fluffed. My aunt was frustrated that we couldn't go have fun. I assured her that I had come to visit, and I had. My cousins are very accomodating hostesses, and I was treated like royalty. I could lie and say that they reserve that treatment just for me, but my nose would grow. My cousins just happen to have excellent manners, and that leads to a most comfortable climate whenever anyone visits. The weather was beautiful, and I was content to enjoy the scenery during the quiet talks with my aunt. When she slept, I sat and remembered. She was my tour quide for so many years. Both of my sons have climbed mountains,thrown snowballs in August, swam in the lakes, traveled to a part of Canada, and enjoyed a cabin on a mountainside because of this sweet lady. Out of the goodness in her heart, she took us all over Seattle many, many times. When the kids were small, she very carefully orchestrated trips that would excite and entertain my boys. As the boys grew up, our trips included more cultural sidetrips that adults would enjoy. She was ever the perfect hostess. I will cherish these memories forever. My aunt made sure she stayed in contact with her Texas roots. We were never ignored as part of her family. She moved to Oregon, New York, and finally to Washington. She made sure we knew her children. As much as possible, my Aunt Ola came to Texas. While my Granny was alive, this was a scheduled, once a year trip. She made Texas a stop on her way to yet another home in Chili. It has always been an understanding that her home was open to our visits. My aunt kept our family connected, and that is no easy feat these days. This is my tribute to my aunt. She touched my life in so many ways and will continue to do so in my forever memories. I will spend the last months of her life praying that the Lord will provide whatever is necessary for her to be as painfree as possible. I am sure the Lord doesn't mind that she is legally stoned, and neither do I.

Soooo Happy

I admit it. I have been worried about my kids.......specifically, my daughter-in-law in North Carolina. My son called yesterday with excellent news concerning her cancer remission. One more 3 month check-up and she will then go to the 6 month check-up cycle. She is still in remission and I praise God for this.

I have been praying for her complete healing and so far God has said yes. I feel confident that He will say yes to my second prayer request for her and my son. I have prayed that she will live to see her children graduate from high school, go to college, get married, and have babies of their own. The blessings of being a grandmother are like no other. I pray for this blessing for all of my kids. There is such fun in being able to relax with grandchildren. To peek at the bits and pieces of DNA that came from the grandparents, parents, and the generations before that.

I look at my sons and see their fathers. They both have strong character, and I am proud to be their mom. I enjoy seeing the family resemblances from both sides of the families in my grandchildren. It's such a permanent statement for the future. My kids have have been married 10 and 5 years while Richard and I hit the big 30 this year. The time has just flown by for us.

Richard and I are at a crossroad in our lives. Do we play it safe, and make sure our children will inherit from us? Do we speculate and continue to invest in a project that may or may not produce income in 5 years when we retire? We will have to make lots of decisions this year, and I want to carefully consider what the impact will be on my children and grandchildren. Times are so unstable right now, and we are fortunate to continually be blessed. I pray that God will bless my children and grandchildren as abundantly as He has blessed us. Thank you, Lord.

Feeling Stuck

Not stuck in life, but stuck in a weird mood! I hate when I feel like this. I have lots of projects that could keep me inspired and engaged and then yield a productive result, but I choose instead to be plain lazy. I don't know if this is a mental issue or the direct result of getting on the Jenny Craig diet plan. I have always been a carb freak, seeking immediate energy, getting the job done, crashing, and starting the same cycle over the next morning. My first gear just refuses to move into second. I find myself just getting through the day.

Yes, I am taking vitamins, and getting the exercise although I could add more minutes to this area. I am just in a rut right now. I am tired of handling all of the details of life, and I find myself getting quite rebellious in my old age. It's not limited to my personal life either. I am tired of listening to people gripe over nothing, and I am tired of my neighborhood. That is nothing new. I seem to have a short attention span when it comes to houses. Husband is supportive and told me to start looking.......but since I am stuck in a rut......I have no desire to pursue this on my own.

My only joy in the daily routine of life is my prayer group. I just feel so refreshed after praying for my family and my grandchildren. I need to start a stuck in a rut prayer group. lol I imagine that God would honor this gripe session. He has broad shoulders......

I will be glad when this cloud lifts, and I can be all perky again. I like being in motion, and my general health is actually on the up swing. My thigh muscle has finally relaxed after my knee replacement, and taking on tasks that involve a step stool no longer cause me angst. I will be happier when I can do what I want to do instead of what other people want me to do. I have had to say no again to various groups, community members, and friends. I will have personal freedom again in June, and it can't get here fast enough.

I will be able to lose myself in my projects for posterity as I call them, and I am actually making my own bucket list for now. I really need to make some personal adjustments for me and only me. That is hard to do, or at least it is hard for me to do. In the meantime, I seem to float through the days, and then another week has passed and I can't seem to pinpoint anything I accomplished besides the regular woman stuff. Washing clothes and cooking meals just doesn't cut it for me. It never has. I will get out of this mood, but may need a small adventure to get there. Maybe the husband will want to take his new wheels for a mileage drive this weekend to look at some lakefront or bayfront property. That might perk me up.......

My Life-Such That It

I talked to my neighbors today. He finally took official retirement at age 70 and she has been retired for a few years now. Both are very pleasant people and easy to approach. During the conversation the mister asked me if my husband had informed me of the latest break in attempt on their home. I said no and he explained that while walking around his property, he discovered cut screens in the guest bedroom. It was comical to me as I had just ordered a new security system, and the technicians will be here tomorrow for the installation.

This house is already wired for it all, and this service has been put off for a while because we have a four legged yapper that seems to hear every outside sound that ever happens. In fact, I'm not sure if her yapping didn't interrupt the screen cutter. Whenever she goes on a rampage, I throw the bright outside lights on. Bright light would deter me from doing anything illegal if I were a burglar.

As continued talking, I explained how I have never lived anywhere and not gotten burglarized in some form or another. Sometimes it was the house and other times the cars or trucks were broken into for laptops or CDs. The times we live in seem to increase this sort of crime. I recently witnessed shoplifters stealing a huge cache of baby products. They just walked the full carts right out the door and started running to a waiting car and get away driver. The trunk was popped and loaded before the cashier could even finish reporting the crime. The car was just far away enough to make reading the plate impossible.It was almost dark outside for this well planned heist. Thieves aren't stupid, no matter what you have heard.

I reminded my husband that he had neglected to tell me the latest problems from next door, and all I heard for a moment or two was a huge groan. He'd just forgotten. I told him that the installer was coming tomorrow and he groaned again. We will probably set the alarm off accidentally until we get used to setting and disarming it. It's not that complicated. We will survive and add it to our one more thing to remember list.

I know I will sleep better knowing that a blaring sound will wake us up if we are here during a crime attempt. I will also leave the house more easily now knowing that a constable will be called if the alarm gets sounded. We have nothing of real value in this house, but a thief wouldn't know that. These are patio homes, and downsize steps for most of us. Our children took extra furniture when we moved, and any valuable items are kept in a safety deposit box or I am wearing it. Our jewelry has sentimental value only. There is nothing designer about our decor, and our technological items are so outdated it is sad. Our running joke concerns the fact that our kids already have better stuff than we do.



I really think it is sad that we have to pay someone to protect our home, but this just seems to be common practice these days. It also bugs me to have to pay a diet program to monitor my weight loss. It seems like nothing in life is free anymore and unless we pay for something, it has no value.

What a Week

First off, I just finished restaining the quarter round on my wood floors. When they were installed, I don't think the detailing was finished correctly. I could have called them, but the floors are over 3 years old now, and I had the materials from another job, so I got it done. My new EZ movers came in today, and moving furniture out of the way was very EZ. The stain has to dry for 8 hours, or I would have completed the job today.

I needed a way to get rid of all this pent up energy. I attended a HOA meeting for my subdivision and was just wired afterwards. I didn't sleep well last night, and today I couldn't get busy fast enough. The meeting was 3 hours of just plain nonsense with people who had nothing but anger towards each other. Old grudges just went on and on, and I noticed that not much business got done. I had to remind them from the gallery to just get on with it. Many of the issues had nothing to do with running a HOA. Just lots of griping about issues that aren't even covered in the deed restrictions.

We voted last month to let the board make edits and additions to our restrictions that will be correct under new laws out there. After last night, I realized why the laws had to be passed. After enduring this meeting, I was just undone. Thus, my projects got started. Hard labor tends to wear me out, and then I can rest. I could have taken a pill to relax, but decided to knock out some chores around the house.

My poor husband called today and got an earfull. He laughed it off, and said that maybe we should get more involved. Elections are in April, and I will probably throw my name in the hat. Somebody just needs to get the job done, and quit wasting everybody's time and energy.

Over coffee this morning, I discussed some issues and how to easily solve them. He'd been the past president and had stepped down due to all of the infighting. We both agreed that it is time to think about moving to another area. Unfortunately, we have 5 years until retirement and building our final home, so I am stuck for a while. Maybe bringing peace to this neighborhood will be a nice goal to have before I move on.

Valentine's Day 2012

In my world, yesterday was Valentine's Day. It is mental anguish to actually go out for a nice dinner on the actual date if it happens to fall on a week day. We already celebrated and said the I love yous. Then, to put the frosting on the cake, we exchanged cards at the coffee pot this morning. I chose a book An Older Love by Warren Hanson for my "card" this year. This author spoke to our ladies group in October, and I actually thought ahead for a change. As I read through the book last night, I identified my life with my husband in so many ways. I even understood when the author admitted to making the same mistakes over and over only to be forgiven over and over. That is what real love does.

I also understood being totally comfortable with each other. It takes years of love to not get prickly when the husband actually asks what day Valentine's is on. It helps to realize that he can't always remember to do the things he used to do as a matter of course, like minor plumbing or door knob replacement. After this last round of home repairs, it will take a handy man 2 or 3 days just to fix our fixes. I am glad I can chuckle over this as I write about it. I think the years of good stuff just sort of diminish the goof ups as we go along. Reality kicks in and we are both thankful that we can afford to fix our mistakes.

I, too, am having my last project redone by a professional. I really thought I could refinish my dining room table. I refuse to give up the black walnut wood from so long ago. After 2 weeks of stripping, sanding, finishing, resanding, refinishing, and stripping again, I gave up. My husband literally flagged a refinisher down as he left a neighbor's house. He got the bid and the guy's card. The furniture is now in the shop along with 7 other pieces. Yep, we both know how to let each other try and then call in the calvary as plan B. Older love just knows.