Offically a New Year

I really track time by my finished events, however great or small. My Christmas decorations came down yesterday, and I actually feel like the holiday season is over now. I will admit that the house looks sort of bare, but that is because I can't find the items that covered the tables and mantle. I can't believe I didn't put the "stuff" in the same boxes that housed the decorations. That is what I normally do, so it is just  matter of swapping out the seasonal "stuff" for the daily "stuff."

 

I am sure items are tucked here and there in closets and drawers, and they will eventually show themselves when I begin my ritual of  getting rid of half of everything in the drawers. That is my new resolution. Just get rid of the stuff that gets in the way of what I really need.

 

 

I spent all day running errands, and was lucky enough to beat the rain. There are about ten things I need to do, but it involves bookkeeping, and remembering how to input data. Since I can't seem to remember where I keep physical objects today, I won't tackle the computer programs. I started back on my diet-bummer-and the first hurdle is always getting my sugar correct. I never, never have high sugar levels, but I do seem to take dips when it is low. It is a juggling act, but I get it level after a couple of down days of fogginess in the mental areas.

 

 

My cousin is visiting my mom today, and I wish I had gone with her, but the return day didn't work for me. I have a board meeting on Thursday, and that reminds me that I need to balance the club checkbook. I am a dime off, and I remember a time in which I would have driven myself crazy finding that dime. Now, I just write about the issue. The monthly deposits won't be finished until Friday, so I will tackle that dime then. I just figure that we have whatever the bank says we have, and that is that. It is more complicated than that for the IRS, but today is not the day to figure it out.

 

All is well in my world. Richard got another raise like he always does, and I get to stay retired. My grandchildren are healthy and happy, and my kids are doing fine. My mom has fully recovered from her stroke, and I may finally get a good nights sleep. I take a sleeping pill, and get 8 hours, but I still have trouble going to sleep. I restocked my melatonin today, so am really looking forward to just going to sleep tonight. Amazing how the little issues of growing older can sometimes consume us. I know how tired I am because of my inability to sort my ideas. That is why this blog is all over the place.

 

 

I am reading Ape House after finishing the Reacher books. I really think I read these before, but got interested again because of the movie. Just remembered my last chore for the day. I was supposed to go get my new glasses and new prescription. Tomorrrow..........

 

 



Winding Down the Old and.....

Contemplating the new. Our party group left with smiles last night and that was what it was all about. We talked and played LCR non-stop until the money ran out, as I had set a limit to our fun. Even the guys got into it and the last pot was a good one. We all indulged in too much food, eggnog, and vino, but we all enjoyed laughing at the anticipation a winner takes all kitty spurs. Hints included that a new neighborhood trend had begun, and I remembered thinking that I will be very happy to attend this new event. Nice to have friends who just enjoy being around each other. We got to meet a couple of new people and jokingly reserved their Colorado home for a trip in the future.  

Richard is on his way to the pecan orchard, and I am chilling while I decide if I will attend a New Year's Eve party. My grandson might be available for a visit also, and I don't want to miss that. My thoughts travel to my mom and whether or not I should have tried to visit her this weekend. The weather hinted at a messy eve and first, so I opted to stay home. Bad weather doesn't bother my husband at all, but I am a nervous wreck traveling bad roads for any reason. I let him be the adventurous one going to the hometown.

Lots of changes this year in the family dynamics have encouraged me to get my "started five years ago" projects finished. I am bound and determined to get my boys pictures put into new albums. They have all been released from the acidic pages of the old time albums, but the organization end of it all has been the biggest challenge. I think I am ready to start the next album when I discover a box of pictures I just packed away much too quickly. I find that I thought I would remember the year of the events because it was so important at the time. Not.....this just hasn't happened and I find myself thinking now in themes instead of years as the pictures just seem to flow into each other.

The digital age made the last 10 years much easier to chronicle, and sites like Shutterfly help immensely with the picture inventories. Computers and the outside storage also create amazing timetables of life's events. All very compact and accessible unless the power goes out. I love the ease with which we can just look at our lives and those we love with the quick motion of inserting a digital card into an electric picture frame. I refer to my digital picture frame as my personal TV of the events that really count. I find comfort in this kind of grounding and remembering that my family and friends bring the continuous smiles to my face.


If I am ever at an age where I have to go to a retirement home of any sort, I hope my family remembers my picture frame and the SD cards I have carefully saved in lieu  of wiping them clean. My entire life is on those cards thanks to the ability to scan and save and redeposit the old pictures to the cards. I wonder if the next generation will be as happy to find the cards and the memories as I was to put them there. They will have their own memories to contemplate and hopefully will be thankful that I had set this example for them. Who knows, but one can hope?

Just Thinking Today

I don't get a lot of opportunities to just be on my schedule. Today is one of those days. In fact, this whole weekend is mine. Just mine. I will drink coffee in pajamas all day if I choose to do so. I won't, but it is nice to know that I can. I have a list of things to do, and I will get the list finished, but it will be on my schedule. I don't even have to make dinner tonight for my hard working husband. What a treat. Next week will be another blur as I visit my mom and go to the doctor with her. She is sad and having a hard time since losing her sister. It is hard to be the only remaining sibling of a generation. Scares me to think about it. The last fun event happened last night. We went to a granddaughter's program, and what a joy to once again see 3 and 4 year olds singing and telling the Christmas story. The end was wonderful with all trying to outsing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas." It was a hoot. Then, Richard took me down a few streets with Christmas lights. Rare occasion, that one, as lights are definitely not his thing. I will do my own sightseeing this weekend too. This year has passed so quickly. I turned around and my best bud grandson is now 12. Twelve. He was just 5 when we met him. My granddaughters are 4 and almost 4. It was just yesterday we were flying to NC to meet the new brunette, and three months later, rushing to the hospital to greet the new blond. My mom had the blessing of seeing the newborn, too. Both fathers were in awe of the new life, and the love that was in their eyes just melted my heart. On another note, I am bound and determined to finish a project I started 6 years ago. My grandson was living with his dad, and as a gift to my new daughter-in-law, I arranged to fly him back home on Christmas Day. We had a grand time while there, and I found these Night Before Christmas books, and thought then and there about making a keepsake for the grandchildren. At the time, I bought 4 because both daughter-in-laws were pregnant. Lo and behold, 5 years later, I am accomplishing this treasure. The treasure is probably more mine than theirs, as I love the feeling I get when I look through pictures and just remember. Some people jog. I look at memories. The NC family visited between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and what fun we had. My granddaughters both love the outdoors, and the parks are one of our favorite places to spend time. Just the moment when the cuties first could swing by themselves brings joy to my heart. Reagan got to ice skate for the first time, and I wondered if my younger son was taken back to his first ice skating in the very same Woodlands mall many years ago. I was also taken back to the year my older son skated for the first time in the Galleria mall. Back then, Richard and I sat at a Mexican restaurant and watched as David mastered the skates. Years later, we sat as adults in the same part of Houston and watched the light parade one Thanksgiving evening. I look forward to history repeats as the grandchildren get older. Hopefully, we will expand on the memories as time goes by. I was able to get both girls to Victoria to see my mom, and I took a cute picture of the great grandmother with the girls in the coats mom got them for Christmas. We have had several gift exchanges already as I wanted to see their faces. I am sure that I will treasure that moment in time forever. If I had been thinking, I would have gotten me in the picture as well. I will frame that picture of my mom and take it to her next week. We will smile together. Some people jog. I look at pictures of the great times together.......always will.

Losses

My favorite aunt passed away this morning at 7:20. Ola Olivia Alexander Gara has joined the Lord and is no longering suffering from cancer. She battled bravely to the end, God was merciful and she is no longer in pain. She leaves behind two daughters, Jennifer Gail Gara Gietzen (Jeff) and Katheryn Alexis Gara Morton (Jeff) and three grandchildren, Alex and Kyle Bayley and Claudia Gietzen. She is also survived by her sister, Bettie Joy Alexander Bethke, my mom. Nieces and nephews include: Rebecca Smith (Richard), Marsha Bain (David), Marvin Mikeska, Judy Higdon, Bettie Hairston,and Dale Alexander. She leaves behind great nephews and nieces: Jason Mikeska, David Keefer, Justin Smith, Bryan Jones, Ashley Higdon, Mathew Bain, Britney Bain, and Christine Mikeska. Great-grand nieces and nephews include: Kaleb Mikeska, Kamryn Keefer, Jonathan Stafford(by marriage)and Reagan Smith, Emily Bain, Christopher and Jonathan Brockwell, David, Nicole and Dryden Jones. I mention the extended family because my Aunt Ola took great care to make sure we knew she was always thinking of us. Christmas always included boxes of cute gifts from the oldest niece to the youngest great-grand nephew. I was always surprised at her ability to remember everyone as most of the previously mentioned relatives are my mom's side of the family. I gave up long ago trying to get individual gifts just to say I love you, but I admire people who do this. We are enjoying the company of my aunt's sweetheart for about 15 years. I remember the evolution of this relationship well. My aunt loved to square dance, and met Francis through this hobby. They danced together for years, and Ola's wish was to die on the dance floor. That's an interesting way to end one's life. Die while engaged in something you love doing. I want to go that way.....maybe while painting a sunset over the ocean. My aunt has once again inspired me. She always did.

Legally Stoned......

My favorite aunt is in the latter stages of cancer and this became my catch phrase as she medicated with the sixty's favorite herb. As she cut the cookie or fudge treat, she would tell me that she would share, but it would be illegal to do so. We would both get a good and much needed laugh. Her cancer in its last stages is quite painful and her nausea really unpleasant. Her doctor prescribed the marijuana for her stomach, and it does help. My younger son has been sending all he knows about the treatment with instructions to not tell mom. I sometimes wish my children would give me credit for at least having knowledge about issues in this decade. The medicinal use of marijuana is a non issue to me. If I research the medications I take every day, I am sure that most of them get their power from various plant bases. In fact unless synthetically produced, most medicines do begin as some sort of foliage. Such is science and such is the science of medicine. It's been a rough 2 months for me. My mother had a stroke, was in rehabilitation for a really quick six weeks, then home with 24/7 care. I was her caregiver for the first two weeks home and my brother and sister covered this last two weeks. We were all in the process of getting a family gathering organized for my mom and aunt. My mother was instructed to stay close to her physicians for at least six months, and then my aunt received news that her condition is terminal. My husband was on board with getting me to Seattle to visit with my aunt. He handled the reservations for me, and that gave me a few moments to just breathe. The visit was bittersweet as we talked, played a few games, and enjoyed a meal together. It is hard to see someone you love in pain. Pain is such paralyzer. Normal activities become difficult and it is, quite frankly, easier to stay in bed and have one's pillow fluffed. My aunt was frustrated that we couldn't go have fun. I assured her that I had come to visit, and I had. My cousins are very accomodating hostesses, and I was treated like royalty. I could lie and say that they reserve that treatment just for me, but my nose would grow. My cousins just happen to have excellent manners, and that leads to a most comfortable climate whenever anyone visits. The weather was beautiful, and I was content to enjoy the scenery during the quiet talks with my aunt. When she slept, I sat and remembered. She was my tour quide for so many years. Both of my sons have climbed mountains,thrown snowballs in August, swam in the lakes, traveled to a part of Canada, and enjoyed a cabin on a mountainside because of this sweet lady. Out of the goodness in her heart, she took us all over Seattle many, many times. When the kids were small, she very carefully orchestrated trips that would excite and entertain my boys. As the boys grew up, our trips included more cultural sidetrips that adults would enjoy. She was ever the perfect hostess. I will cherish these memories forever. My aunt made sure she stayed in contact with her Texas roots. We were never ignored as part of her family. She moved to Oregon, New York, and finally to Washington. She made sure we knew her children. As much as possible, my Aunt Ola came to Texas. While my Granny was alive, this was a scheduled, once a year trip. She made Texas a stop on her way to yet another home in Chili. It has always been an understanding that her home was open to our visits. My aunt kept our family connected, and that is no easy feat these days. This is my tribute to my aunt. She touched my life in so many ways and will continue to do so in my forever memories. I will spend the last months of her life praying that the Lord will provide whatever is necessary for her to be as painfree as possible. I am sure the Lord doesn't mind that she is legally stoned, and neither do I.

Soooo Happy

I admit it. I have been worried about my kids.......specifically, my daughter-in-law in North Carolina. My son called yesterday with excellent news concerning her cancer remission. One more 3 month check-up and she will then go to the 6 month check-up cycle. She is still in remission and I praise God for this.

I have been praying for her complete healing and so far God has said yes. I feel confident that He will say yes to my second prayer request for her and my son. I have prayed that she will live to see her children graduate from high school, go to college, get married, and have babies of their own. The blessings of being a grandmother are like no other. I pray for this blessing for all of my kids. There is such fun in being able to relax with grandchildren. To peek at the bits and pieces of DNA that came from the grandparents, parents, and the generations before that.

I look at my sons and see their fathers. They both have strong character, and I am proud to be their mom. I enjoy seeing the family resemblances from both sides of the families in my grandchildren. It's such a permanent statement for the future. My kids have have been married 10 and 5 years while Richard and I hit the big 30 this year. The time has just flown by for us.

Richard and I are at a crossroad in our lives. Do we play it safe, and make sure our children will inherit from us? Do we speculate and continue to invest in a project that may or may not produce income in 5 years when we retire? We will have to make lots of decisions this year, and I want to carefully consider what the impact will be on my children and grandchildren. Times are so unstable right now, and we are fortunate to continually be blessed. I pray that God will bless my children and grandchildren as abundantly as He has blessed us. Thank you, Lord.

Feeling Stuck

Not stuck in life, but stuck in a weird mood! I hate when I feel like this. I have lots of projects that could keep me inspired and engaged and then yield a productive result, but I choose instead to be plain lazy. I don't know if this is a mental issue or the direct result of getting on the Jenny Craig diet plan. I have always been a carb freak, seeking immediate energy, getting the job done, crashing, and starting the same cycle over the next morning. My first gear just refuses to move into second. I find myself just getting through the day.

Yes, I am taking vitamins, and getting the exercise although I could add more minutes to this area. I am just in a rut right now. I am tired of handling all of the details of life, and I find myself getting quite rebellious in my old age. It's not limited to my personal life either. I am tired of listening to people gripe over nothing, and I am tired of my neighborhood. That is nothing new. I seem to have a short attention span when it comes to houses. Husband is supportive and told me to start looking.......but since I am stuck in a rut......I have no desire to pursue this on my own.

My only joy in the daily routine of life is my prayer group. I just feel so refreshed after praying for my family and my grandchildren. I need to start a stuck in a rut prayer group. lol I imagine that God would honor this gripe session. He has broad shoulders......

I will be glad when this cloud lifts, and I can be all perky again. I like being in motion, and my general health is actually on the up swing. My thigh muscle has finally relaxed after my knee replacement, and taking on tasks that involve a step stool no longer cause me angst. I will be happier when I can do what I want to do instead of what other people want me to do. I have had to say no again to various groups, community members, and friends. I will have personal freedom again in June, and it can't get here fast enough.

I will be able to lose myself in my projects for posterity as I call them, and I am actually making my own bucket list for now. I really need to make some personal adjustments for me and only me. That is hard to do, or at least it is hard for me to do. In the meantime, I seem to float through the days, and then another week has passed and I can't seem to pinpoint anything I accomplished besides the regular woman stuff. Washing clothes and cooking meals just doesn't cut it for me. It never has. I will get out of this mood, but may need a small adventure to get there. Maybe the husband will want to take his new wheels for a mileage drive this weekend to look at some lakefront or bayfront property. That might perk me up.......