Saturday, June 5, 2010

And the beat goes on.....

Younger son called and informed us of his next deployment. He won't be going to Afghanistan, and for that I am thankful. This next deployment will be for one year, and then he could end up back in Texas and nearer to home. He and his sweet family will handle this, and we have made it clear that we will welcome his family as often as needed during this long year.

I remember the isolation I felt in my early twenties when my ex-husband accepted a transfer to West Africa. I wasn't lonely as I always make new friends very easily, but I was lonesome for the daily routines of being near family. The fact that there were no cell phones and limited communications increased these feelings. We had always lived near enough to drop in, but not so close as to be smothered. My younger son and his wife are the total package couple. They do everything together. Not my cup of tea, but works for them. They are more or less co-dependent, and it is cute to watch. I personally prefer being an independent entity with my own interests and amusements. Hub and I work side by side when necessary, but we both pursue our own hobbies and at times, friends.

My immediate life involves a weirdly, nervous husband. I don't recall seeing him worried about me but one other time in our married life. That was when I had his son by C-section, and he was anxious about the anesthesia. He told me this years later. Kind of nice to be worried about once in a while, just as long as he doesn't smother me. I do recall having to tell him to back off only a couple of times in our married life. I really don't like someone hovering over me.

I hope my son does well being independent. He will work a minimum of 12 hours a day at this base, so down time will involve lots of sleep with a readiness alert programmed into his subconscious. I would probably do better with a year long assignment away from home, but I will pray that the Lord prepares and protects him during this time. Normally, I would already being planning our trip to his overseas base, but it isn't a place I would really want to visit.

It feels good to reflect this morning before my older son visits with his family. Total attention to me will be my priority for the next few weeks. Finally, healing will come that will increase my quality of life and in turn the quality of the lives I touch. My older son is having a hard time dealing with my 6-0 this year, and still finds it hard to believe that hub and I aren't just turning 50. I reminded him that I would have had to have been 17 at his birth. He is having trouble adjusting to his almost 34 years as well. Not me, I enjoy watching the years go forward, and I smile over the simple triumphs in life. When I was almost his age, I set goals for my life, and as it stands, so far so good. Of course, all could change tomorrow or 10 seconds from now, but I will deal with whatever is on the horizon.

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