Once again, I have been praying for my kids' families. My younger son's wife is now in remission for her 9 month scan. I am praising the Lord for preserving that sweet family which is so precious to me. I can't imagine the anxiety before the tests, feeling good, but wondering if I would be clear. My daughter-in-laws both amaze me with their ability to handle whatever life throws at them.
I rest in the peace I get knowing that both families are in God's hands, I firmly believe if God takes you to it, He will get you through it. So many young women are getting cancer these days, and my prayers and heart goes out to them. I pray that God will bless all the people I know who are being treated for this disease. I pray specifically that God will grant them the peace that comes from faith in God at times like these.
I really don't know how unbelievers make it through the challenges of life and sometimes the life threatening diseases that are so prevalent in today's society. I will pray that all I know will find relief in their darkest hours, and that God will give them a peak at the light at the end of the tunnel.
Good news from my husband about his mom. Her hospital stay isn't over, but it is not life threatening. She will be released on Sunday, and he will come home. He has been down this road so many times with me and my mother. The hospital isn't the most exciting place to be, but our parents receive great comfort when we can be there with them. This decade of our lives will involve many hospital stays, and we have mentally geared up for these times. Many of our friends are in the same circumstances, and all have pretty much accepted the challenge of part time caregivers. In years to come we will be glad that we took the time to be there for our loved ones.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Just a Chuckle on Aging
My favorite aunt turned 76 this year, so I sent her a card wishing her a happy 75Th. She informed me last year that she'd had her last birthday. As a baby boomer who turned 60 this year, I completely understand, and I too have endured my last age recognition birth date.
Never ask a women her age used to be the standard rule for good manners, and I am in favor of taking a stand for this rule and applying to my life from this year forward. In twenty years, I think I would rather have people comment that I sure look poorly for a 60 year old instead of commenting you can tell she's 80, bless her heart. I admit that I have a weird way of thinking, but I would rather retort, that's because I am really 80 instead of the polite "and I feel it or and I have earned every one of these gray hairs." I doubt seriously if there will be any gray hairs during this decade either, but one never knows. I might up and decide that I don't mind looking my age and regard my life as a triumph of sorts. I doubt that too.
Never ask a women her age used to be the standard rule for good manners, and I am in favor of taking a stand for this rule and applying to my life from this year forward. In twenty years, I think I would rather have people comment that I sure look poorly for a 60 year old instead of commenting you can tell she's 80, bless her heart. I admit that I have a weird way of thinking, but I would rather retort, that's because I am really 80 instead of the polite "and I feel it or and I have earned every one of these gray hairs." I doubt seriously if there will be any gray hairs during this decade either, but one never knows. I might up and decide that I don't mind looking my age and regard my life as a triumph of sorts. I doubt that too.
Writing to Relieve Stress
Once again, I am venting just for my own posterity. It helps. I look back at past posts and think, huh, that is just so unimportant in the real scheme of life. I wonder what triggered my desperation at the time. God is my witness, I am just a worrier. I worry when I don't understand. I worry when no one seems to be able to make me understand. Then, I wonder why I don't understand. I am a fairly intelligent person. I know spiritually that I am not supposed to worry, but I just can't help myself. I tell myself to go on about my business, and do just about anything to distract my thoughts. That results in stupid chest pains that always, always, always have been nothing more than a panic attack in the making. I now curb this anxiety with deep breathing exercises instead of pills. I have finally evolved into an almost in control person I think.
My latest debacle in life has been brought about by a business venture to round out our portfolio. In theory it was supposed to work, and be relatively self sustaining due to income from dividends already in place. The market has dictated otherwise. As a logical person, I know the market will turn in 18 to 24 months, but the trick is to hang on without losing too much of our retirement in the process.
My husband is gainfully employed and always has been. He retired once and is now working in the same capacity, but for more money. The family budget is secure. We have been able to stay even with the investment with our personal funds, but it is tiresome. I am a wizard when it comes to handling the family budget. My husband will willingly give me credit for that. What I am not a genius at is handling large sums of money and the understanding of the interest, what kind of interest, and how that interest affects my pocket book. I am learning. It costs to learn these kinds of lessons. Our accountant says thank you very much with each installment.
The saddest part of this irritation in life is that I had the resources to have avoided it all in the first place. My older son has his Masters in Business, and understands most of the ins and outs of business. It gave me comfort to talk to him last night even when he explained that this wasn't the way we should have invested. He gave me pointers on how to undo the damage, and it will work. He asked if we would be able to handle the work involved until the business was off the ground,and ironically that is the same question I asked myself at the beginning of this venture.
It is possible that I will find relief this week as we talk to bankers about a proper business loan. There is much to be learned ahead, and as long as I don't panic, I will be able to absorb and apply the knowledge.
Yep, just blog to relieve stress.........
My latest debacle in life has been brought about by a business venture to round out our portfolio. In theory it was supposed to work, and be relatively self sustaining due to income from dividends already in place. The market has dictated otherwise. As a logical person, I know the market will turn in 18 to 24 months, but the trick is to hang on without losing too much of our retirement in the process.
My husband is gainfully employed and always has been. He retired once and is now working in the same capacity, but for more money. The family budget is secure. We have been able to stay even with the investment with our personal funds, but it is tiresome. I am a wizard when it comes to handling the family budget. My husband will willingly give me credit for that. What I am not a genius at is handling large sums of money and the understanding of the interest, what kind of interest, and how that interest affects my pocket book. I am learning. It costs to learn these kinds of lessons. Our accountant says thank you very much with each installment.
The saddest part of this irritation in life is that I had the resources to have avoided it all in the first place. My older son has his Masters in Business, and understands most of the ins and outs of business. It gave me comfort to talk to him last night even when he explained that this wasn't the way we should have invested. He gave me pointers on how to undo the damage, and it will work. He asked if we would be able to handle the work involved until the business was off the ground,and ironically that is the same question I asked myself at the beginning of this venture.
It is possible that I will find relief this week as we talk to bankers about a proper business loan. There is much to be learned ahead, and as long as I don't panic, I will be able to absorb and apply the knowledge.
Yep, just blog to relieve stress.........
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
No More Stuff
I Facebooked that there isn't enough Crown in the world for the life collections that are now relocated in our garage. I read that Americans are the only people who store crap in their garages while the 30K+ vehicles sit out in the weather. We are now officially a part of that subculture. It is all I can do to walk into the garage these days.
On one brave trip through, I noticed a box of stuffed animals and huge dinosaur puppets. Just what two, over the hill, almost retired people need for amusement in their golden years!!! Never fear, I think a garage sale is in the future. I hate garage sales, having them verses going to them. I am often sidetracked by a sign or two.
I could also go through each box and then wonder why this or that was saved in the first place. I will just become frustrated if I do that, at least in this busy month.
About February I will tire of getting out in the rain to run errands and begin the job of sorting. Who knows, I might find some treasures........
On one brave trip through, I noticed a box of stuffed animals and huge dinosaur puppets. Just what two, over the hill, almost retired people need for amusement in their golden years!!! Never fear, I think a garage sale is in the future. I hate garage sales, having them verses going to them. I am often sidetracked by a sign or two.
I could also go through each box and then wonder why this or that was saved in the first place. I will just become frustrated if I do that, at least in this busy month.
About February I will tire of getting out in the rain to run errands and begin the job of sorting. Who knows, I might find some treasures........
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Mom, You Haven't Changed in Twenty Years
Words from my younger son, now twenty three and referencing a DVD I had made for him for Christmas, brought a smile to my face. Clarification is needed here. All their lives the boys have heard,"Smile, smile for the camera. We are going to keep doing this until you smile for me." Guess that memory was repeated a time or two by this cameraman. I am really trying to get rid of the old technology in the house. Clearing out old tapes and VHS recordings will give me a lot of drawer room in most of my house. DVDs of the school plays and field trips weren't the only memories mailed.
I also made wreaths for the boys using the ornaments of their childhoods. I have changed my focus on my Christmas tree and will no longer hang the standard globes and ornaments, unless of course my grandchildren make something special for me. Framed pictures of life with my kids and their kids and friends make up the ornaments from now on. I have the memorable ornaments on a wreath or two for our family, and they hang beautifully in the French doors. I get the same warm fuzzy feelings when I look at the wreaths with about zero effort. My older son spent a while tracking down his very first ornament Christmas evening. It seems his two year old thought the ornament was wonderful enough to snatch and hide in her room. I am sure the boys both thought back to their youthful arguments about whose special stuffed ornament was going to top the tree. I remember one year putting my angel on top and their two on the next branch down exactly the same distance from the angel. I think the older actually got a ruler to make sure.
I am still going through boxes and making hard decisions to just get rid of the contents. I found two Justin boot boxes full of all of the cards I have ever gotten from friends, family, and extended family. I haven't a clue as to why I saved them. I used to recycle Christmas cards into tags the following year, but used the last of them this year. I actually felt good about my little efforts to keep it green. My family has laughed at me for years for my ideologies, but it doesn't matter. I just feel better recycling.
The older son is hunting birds this weekend, and I think my husband decided to join him. Son explained that the birds were just more fun, and I agree. I never could take the confinement of a deer stand, but loved roaming the fields with the boys when they were young. Now, if I could convince my boys to want to fish and invest in the boats and all that, I would truly be happy. I fear that I will always be caught wishing and hoping my wants, not needs, wants. The younger son will always hunt with his dad, and the older son will always fish off the coast of Florida with his dad.
I get to stay home and write about it.
One never knows what the future will bring, and that is why I hold on to the past and try to pass those memories forward. The boys are going to get another memory made by their great grandmother for us when we were young adults. Hopefully, their wives will make sure the items are cherished and passed down again. It was hard to pass their baby blankets down, but I really enjoy seeing them being used for yet another generation. Warm fuzzes and all that!
I also made wreaths for the boys using the ornaments of their childhoods. I have changed my focus on my Christmas tree and will no longer hang the standard globes and ornaments, unless of course my grandchildren make something special for me. Framed pictures of life with my kids and their kids and friends make up the ornaments from now on. I have the memorable ornaments on a wreath or two for our family, and they hang beautifully in the French doors. I get the same warm fuzzy feelings when I look at the wreaths with about zero effort. My older son spent a while tracking down his very first ornament Christmas evening. It seems his two year old thought the ornament was wonderful enough to snatch and hide in her room. I am sure the boys both thought back to their youthful arguments about whose special stuffed ornament was going to top the tree. I remember one year putting my angel on top and their two on the next branch down exactly the same distance from the angel. I think the older actually got a ruler to make sure.
I am still going through boxes and making hard decisions to just get rid of the contents. I found two Justin boot boxes full of all of the cards I have ever gotten from friends, family, and extended family. I haven't a clue as to why I saved them. I used to recycle Christmas cards into tags the following year, but used the last of them this year. I actually felt good about my little efforts to keep it green. My family has laughed at me for years for my ideologies, but it doesn't matter. I just feel better recycling.
The older son is hunting birds this weekend, and I think my husband decided to join him. Son explained that the birds were just more fun, and I agree. I never could take the confinement of a deer stand, but loved roaming the fields with the boys when they were young. Now, if I could convince my boys to want to fish and invest in the boats and all that, I would truly be happy. I fear that I will always be caught wishing and hoping my wants, not needs, wants. The younger son will always hunt with his dad, and the older son will always fish off the coast of Florida with his dad.
I get to stay home and write about it.
One never knows what the future will bring, and that is why I hold on to the past and try to pass those memories forward. The boys are going to get another memory made by their great grandmother for us when we were young adults. Hopefully, their wives will make sure the items are cherished and passed down again. It was hard to pass their baby blankets down, but I really enjoy seeing them being used for yet another generation. Warm fuzzes and all that!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Eighty
My mom will be eighty this coming year, and party plans are already in place. Brother will host the celebration at his house, and siblings will follow up with a not as glamorous as Vegas trip to Coushautta. Vegas was on the agenda until mom called it quits. She just can't make the trips anymore. Leg strength is limited to short times of standing, and to be quite honest, we lost her a couple of times on our last trip to sin city. It only took two trips to the ladies room for entourage to become the new word for the trip.
I've been thinking about age and relevance to health. I fear that I won't be in good shape when I hit 80. My mom could run circles around me at 60. She was keeping up with her kids, ranging in age from 39 to 33. We kept her hopping with all kinds of activities because we were constantly camping, or skiing, or traveling. She used to keep a calendar and keep us updated on what we were all doing. She wanted to be a part of all the fun times, and conflicts on the calendar just wouldn't do.
It will be fun to celebrate the platinum years of life with her. The golden years were a blast, but we are all slowing down. Mom's biggest sins in life have been loving too much and smoking. The love hasn't hurt her, but the smoking has taken its toll. It's the love that will bring us together as a family. We will laugh a lot, and act stupid, and compete for her attention just as we have always done. Hopefully, her few living friends will show up, and we can all remember when. We may even get some great family shots that will last a lifetime yet to come for her aging children.
I've been thinking about age and relevance to health. I fear that I won't be in good shape when I hit 80. My mom could run circles around me at 60. She was keeping up with her kids, ranging in age from 39 to 33. We kept her hopping with all kinds of activities because we were constantly camping, or skiing, or traveling. She used to keep a calendar and keep us updated on what we were all doing. She wanted to be a part of all the fun times, and conflicts on the calendar just wouldn't do.
It will be fun to celebrate the platinum years of life with her. The golden years were a blast, but we are all slowing down. Mom's biggest sins in life have been loving too much and smoking. The love hasn't hurt her, but the smoking has taken its toll. It's the love that will bring us together as a family. We will laugh a lot, and act stupid, and compete for her attention just as we have always done. Hopefully, her few living friends will show up, and we can all remember when. We may even get some great family shots that will last a lifetime yet to come for her aging children.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night!
What a fun filled day! Up early to finish dishes to take to my older son's home. We wanted to be there for Santa and opening all of the presents. During the flurry of paper and ribbon, I thought about my younger son in NC going through the same motions. At about the same time we were all giggling and laughing and attempting to contain the mountain of garbage this season brings with it.
I thought about my young years and the glad feelings a special doll or toy brought to five youngsters clammering for presents. I know that my two year old granddaughters won't remember these years, but I will. I know my ten year old grandson will remember the year Mimi and Pops gave him the basketball hoop. He loves to play hoops, and as I recall from a couple of years ago, is darn good at it. I hope it becomes a passion for him. Passion makes a person try harder, if for no other reason than to say I did that. Everyone needs personal moments of triumph whether they are on the basketball court or on the driveway at home.
I will rest tomorrow. I will go to church and thank the Lord that I am blessed abundantly. I will pray for my children and their children. My husband will do what he does best, and that is go hunting. I imagine he says a prayer or two for our kids while alone in his stand. My older son will accompany him and they will have a great time. The older son is already planning next Thanksgiving at the lease. If it comes to fruition, the fair will consist of BBQ and the fixings instead of the traditional fair of turkey. It could happen.
For now I reflect on what a great life I have. God continues to show his love for me and my family each and every day. He is a much better God than I am a servant. He is also a patient God, and I know He will wait for me to do His will. I imagine that I will be humming Christmas tunes for about another week. Christmas songs just make me smile, and the smiles just make me feel good at the end of the day. Thanks, Lord.
I thought about my young years and the glad feelings a special doll or toy brought to five youngsters clammering for presents. I know that my two year old granddaughters won't remember these years, but I will. I know my ten year old grandson will remember the year Mimi and Pops gave him the basketball hoop. He loves to play hoops, and as I recall from a couple of years ago, is darn good at it. I hope it becomes a passion for him. Passion makes a person try harder, if for no other reason than to say I did that. Everyone needs personal moments of triumph whether they are on the basketball court or on the driveway at home.
I will rest tomorrow. I will go to church and thank the Lord that I am blessed abundantly. I will pray for my children and their children. My husband will do what he does best, and that is go hunting. I imagine he says a prayer or two for our kids while alone in his stand. My older son will accompany him and they will have a great time. The older son is already planning next Thanksgiving at the lease. If it comes to fruition, the fair will consist of BBQ and the fixings instead of the traditional fair of turkey. It could happen.
For now I reflect on what a great life I have. God continues to show his love for me and my family each and every day. He is a much better God than I am a servant. He is also a patient God, and I know He will wait for me to do His will. I imagine that I will be humming Christmas tunes for about another week. Christmas songs just make me smile, and the smiles just make me feel good at the end of the day. Thanks, Lord.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)