Saturday, October 23, 2010

What I Have Learned From My Mom

After a turn around trip to Victoria, lunch with my mom and brother, and a follow-up visit to the doctor, I am happy to report that my mom is in stable condition one more time. Good doctor has given her some samples to help with the cholesterol and upped her blood pressure medicine to twice a day. She has plaque build up in one carotid artery and in one of her legs.

She must continue to stay on her diabetic diet and routine if she is to have quality of life. When it came time to write the check, she wrote $20212.34 instead of $212.34. I was there to help her void one and then write a correct check amount. I earned my daughter wages that day.

Mom is almost 80, and until this year has always bounced back with her mental abilities acute. Brother and I talked to her about going to a progressive nursing home, where she would be so much happier, but she refuses to budge. She is going to die in her home in her sleep. I pray that she is right. One family member or another checks in on her every day, but the living alone has really become an issue. I outfitted her with the emergency necklace and a maid once a month because that's all she wants. After this last spell, I will be more diligent about going to the doctor with her. After these last two weeks, I have determined that she hears what she wants to hear, and just plain refuses to follow orders when she gets tired of the routine. I have learned that stubbornness can kill.

After the last month of family issues and my involvement because my mom put me there the last time she thought she was going to die, I have learned that I must just move forward with my goals for my life. If I leave family members behind, I will have no regrets. For almost forty years, I have bent over backwards to keep everyone happy, and equal, and at peace. It's never going to happen. After smoothing issues just two weeks ago, I return to find another explosion within the perimeters known as family.

I have determined that all of the issues have one thing in common. The family members involved have turned their backs on God, and now in desperate times, God is ignoring them or judging them or punishing them. We, as fellow human beings, are just limited to solving life's problems without God's intervention.

As a child of God, I had to be broken completely before I finally understood to focus on God first in all aspects of my life. Some people just need to be broken or emptied of hope before they can be fixed. God is ultimately the only one who can fix broken people. I took some legal actions to insure that my immediate family will not become embroiled with family matters set in motion by my mom. Certain responsibilities have been turned over to the most logical family member.

I have a year of reprieve before the reality of my actions become family knowledge, but I will deal with that anger a year from now. Why not have one less year of the verbage and hard feelings? Simply keeping my mouth shut will give me pleasant visits with my mom. That is my heart's desire. I would like our last years of conversations to be pleasant. I want to look forward to my visits to my home town. After mom passes, the family dynamics will change dramatically. I won't want to spend any lengthy amounts of time with people who have removed themselves from God's fellowship. I will write hard letters this Christmas more or less advising the people I love to run to God because God is the only one who can help them. Until there is a heart change for God, then the skirmishes will continue on the homefront. Frankly, I am tired of it. Nothing ever changes when people try to fix problems without God in the equation. I plan to tell my loved ones just this. I can't fix their problems anymore, but God can.

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